Is that impossible? Of all the things asked of me that I have difficulty with, this is the worst. I simply do not know how. How do I forgive someone who takes joy in watching me suffer? Someone who is willing to destroy entire families, careers, and relationships in hopes of seeing a single tear? How does a person like that fit into this? Am I not supposed to fight back? And if so, where is the line drawn? Where does it stop being self-preservation and start being vengeance?
I don't think I can do it.
I have made so many mistakes. I acknowledge them, and accept them. I am willing to spend the rest of my life making them right. I understand that I have to pay the consequences of my actions, but I can't help praying every day for leniency, for understanding, for just one more chance to do the right thing...I never make the same mistake twice.
I am trying so hard not to hate.
How do I stop...
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